Here's one that came up recently: Ralph Wilson, otherwise known as the proxy Hexxus, was arrested in Reno, Nevada. What, pray tell, was he arrested for? Stalking? Arson? Assault? Murder?
None of the above. He was arrested, actually, for vandalism.
This is what I mean, people. Vandalism. Seriously. Police arrested him outside of a bar when they saw him spray-painting an Operator Symbol on the wall.
Let me repeat that: he was spray-painting an Operator Symbol. And then he was arrested and because he had a few brain cells that hadn't died yet, he didn't resist arrest and went peacefully. This was why I was able to get him out of a Reno jail with only a minimal fine and some under the counter cash.
After he was free, I then proceeded to berate the living shit out of him. And not just for the vandalism thing, either. I believe at one point, I pointed out that his proxy name wasn't even a "real name," but rather a character from the movie Ferngully: The Last Rainforest.
And that was how I made Hexxus cry. Making another proxy cry made me feel sort of bad, so I tried to comfort him. And that's why he's now sleeping on my couch.
This is why you should post bail and bail. Never talk to the proxies, never get into conversations with them (where they inevitably try to compare killing techniques or how much they love serving the Father, blah blah blah), just don't.
Because you might end up sharing a room with them and they might just leave their goddamn dishes everything.
One of these days, I'm going to make Hexxus cry again and I won't even feel bad.
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