Thursday, July 12, 2012

Insert Evil Lawyer Joke Here

Let me tell you a joke other proxies like to tell me: what's the difference between the Slender Man and a lawyer?

Answer: one is a monster in a business suit and the other is the Slender Man.

Hello. My name is Mister Branch. I am a proxy and a lawyer. Furthermore, I am a proxy lawyer, a lawyer for proxies.

You see, things aren't always simple when working for the Father. A lot of the things we are required to do are illegal. So if a proxy is caught breaking and entering (to leave a threatening note of some sort) or holding illegal weaponry (many just decide to carry their own weapons, without even getting a permit) or even arrested for murder, that's where me and my partner come in.

We are Branch & Cabal. We will get you out on bail before you can say 'reasonable doubt.' And if the trial ever does come to court, we can discredit nosy witnesses and make sure you fail to go to jail.

Remember: justice is blind, because we stabbed her eyes out.

3 comments:

  1. Hello Mister Branch, I'm Lucia.

    At first, I was thinking "great, another new blog. Please don't be a dumbass runner." And then I was like "Oh, he's a proxy. Whew. And he's funny. YES."

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    Replies
    1. It's all proxies all the time. Runners only exist in their imaginations at this point.

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  2. Laywer Proxies? Now I've seen everything

    ReplyDelete